


Reparations

by TK_DuVeraun



Series: Seeker Junior [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-09 13:41:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7804048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TK_DuVeraun/pseuds/TK_DuVeraun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the moment of Corypheus's defeat, Inquisitor Adrianna Trevelyan stepped into the rift. However, instead of the nothingness of the Fade, she stepped out into the Frostbacks under a Breach that didn't resonate with her anchor. Her devotion to duty left her no choice, but to journey to Haven and assist an Inquisition that wasn't hers. Assuming she could survive their suspicions.</p>
<p>Alternate continuation of Seeking Absolution.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Well, shit.

**Author's Note:**

> Did you read Seeking Absolution? No? Then why are you here? 
> 
> AU Wherein Cullen dies at Adamant and Adi loses the will to fight.

“Not one more word!” Adi shouted her first words into the Fade… This time. She snarled each time her companions tried to respond to the Nightmare. A pure white spirit followed closely behind, though it didn’t try to speak or interfere as Adi stalked through the Fade, completely ignoring the fearlings that attacked them.

“It’s just lovely seeing you again, Adi,” the Nightmare purred as they approached. “Even though you were so rude as to refuse my hospitality last time. You didn’t need those memories. You’re always welcome here in my domain. Just don’t get too close; you have a habit of getting your lovers killed.”

The anchor flared in Adi’s hand and a ghostly wisp of a greataxe solidified in her hand as they approached the spindly fear demon blocking their way out. She hacked and slashed, barely away of Blackwall’s presence next to her or the fire flying from Dorian’s staff. When the demon dissolved back down to its essence, the true Nightmare reared its head. The huge form towered over them and tried to intercept them on their path to the rift.

Stroud and Hawke both spoke at once, stumbling over each other with their offers to stay behind.

“I said,  _ shut up _ !” Adi swung her axe around and pointed at the rift. “Out. Now.”

“Look, Junior, I know you’re the Inquisitor and all, but Curly-” Varric started.

“Cullen is  _ dead _ . Now  _ go _ .”

Varric looked physically stricken by the venom in her voice and since they were in the Fade, maybe he was, but Adi didn’t spare it anymore thought.  She slashed the spirit axe, quickly losing ground to the Nightmare until she was backed up nearly to the rift. A great wooshing, sucking sound heralded the rift sealing, but just before that, she heard Blackwall mutter, “So this is how it ends.”

 

\---

 

Adi didn’t really notice the spirits that surrounded her. They were so curious: drawn by a physical body in the Fade. Demons came, hounding her steps, making threats, offering deals, whispering secrets and promises.

The only thing that really piqued her interest was a library. Broken fragments floating, sideways and upside down. She listened to the red spirits, the ones thinking themselves Archivisits. She touched scraps of paper and the words soaked into her mind. She learned and forgot more knowledge she’d ever thought existed. 

Time seemed to stop, even more than it usually did in the Fade, if mages were to be believed.  _ Though _ , she thought, running her fingers along the smooth mostly-real wood of the shelf, mages got a lot of wrong.

Her mind whispered all kinds of twisted ways she could bring Cullen back. Or it was the demons. Either way, she never considered it. Maybe it was the spirits of Faith and Compassion and Honesty tittering about her, or maybe it was just that she knew he’d never forgive her for it.  
  
Eventually, the library lost its pull on her and she drifted to other areas. Nothing else stood out. She closed a few rifts from the inside, but then she found one that refused to close. She grumbled and pulled with the anchor, but it refused, spitting sparks of magic at her.

She dropped the Fadeaxe and stepped through. Adi ducked under a crossbow bolt and shouted, “You and Bianca have a fight? Your aim is terrible.”

“Ju-Junior?! Are you really real? You were lost-”

With a woosh and snap of energy, the rift closed. “Well, I did come from the last place you left me.” She grunted as the dwarf plowed into her. Adi sighed and rubbed his back, before looking up.

“Oh you’re back on this side. Your hurts are louder now.  _ It doesn’t matter. There’s nothing. Nothing. What’s the point? Who cares? _ But you’re back now. The others will be happy.” Cole drifted closer to her and tilted his head back to make eye contact, though it was unnecessary.

She didn’t pat him on the shoulder, as she would have before her trip in the Fade. Across the way, Blackwall looked between herself, Cole and Varric. “So… You are real?”

“Yes. And I imagine things have been going poorly without me.”

“Junior, you don’t know the half of it.”

 

\---

 

“Inquisitor.”

Adi looked up from her axe, whetstone still in hand. Her gaze trailed over Morrigan and time seemed to freeze as her mind pulled out all of the information it had on her.  _ Fifth Blight. Kokari Wilds. Witch of the Wilds. Flemeth. Asha’bellanar. _ She cackled, looking half as mad as everyone thought her. “Yes, Morrigan?”

Pitiless yellow eyes stared down at her. “Have you been told why we’re going to the Arbor Wilds?”

The greataxe swung as Adi stood up. “You think Corypheus is after the Eluvian.” She grinned as Morrigan’s frown tightened.

“If you did not agree, you should have attended the War Table.”

_ Thunk _ . Adi used her axe as a support staff. “Oh, Corypheus will be there. And Samson in his fancy armor. Don’t bother tittering at me about the War Table. If Josie couldn’t convince me to care, you’re not going to. They can make their plans. I’ll follow along and seal the rifts and kill Corypheus when he gets too close.”

Morrigan tilted her chin and looked down her nose at her. “What then, do you think it is he seeks?”

The half-mad laugh escaped Adrianna again. “Oh, you’ll see. And it will be glorious.”

Varric replaced the witch when Morrigan stalked off in a huff. “Can you at least pretend to be the same person, Junior? It’s bothering the men.”

“Oh hush. It’ll make an amazing story. The Inquisitor lost in religious fervor before killing the Darkspawn magister. It’ll make everything easier on Lelianna once this is all over. She gets her free, political, ‘That deal doesn’t count because the Inquisitor was mad’ ticket.”

“I think we’d all rather have you back.”

“Adrianna died in the Fade, Varric. Be grateful I’m sticking around to end this mess.”

The dwarf muttered under his breath. Something about waking up every morning and fishing. He eventually cleared his throat and spoke up. “You forget, I saw Anders first hand. You may be catching the crazy, but you’re not possessed. You’re still Junior. Deep in there somewhere.”

“Yes. But I’m done.” She gestured around herself, at Skyhold’s garden. “I don’t care anymore.”

“Whatever you saw in the Fade, wasn’t real.”

“That’s the problem, Varric. It was real. So brightly, burningly real. Thedas isn’t worth saving. Not knowing what I know. I just want revenge.” The anchor crackled and spit little bursts of green magic.

Varric stared at her, his face warring with different emotions. He sighed. “Fine, but you owe Cole. You forced him to be what he is. You can’t deny him his purpose or whatever Chuckles keeps prattling on about. He wants to help. You let him.”

Adi didn’t need to consider. She nodded her head, shame taking over from the madness. “I will. Tell him to come by when I’m alone. No one else needs to hear it.”

 

\---

 

The door opened, but Adi couldn’t bring herself to care. Her armored boots were kicked up on Cullen’s old desk and her axe was leaned against the scarred wood. Wind rushed from the hole in the ceiling and out through the now-open door.

Solas stepped inside without invitation. “The time you spent in the Fade seems to have greatly affected you.” 

“You here for a reason,  _ harellan _ ?” Adi asked, though her tone and expression made it clear she wasn’t expecting a real answer.

He stepped up to the desk and picked up some of the scattered papers she’d kicked off the desk. “Sister Nightingale and the others believe Corypheus will push for a final, desperate assault now that the Well is gone.”

“Yes, yes, and you want to be sure we recover the orb. You’re lucky Morrigan is too arrogant to use the Well to figure out your secrets.” She flexed the fingers of her left hand, watching the muscles move around the anchor.

“In time, you may come to regret your apathy in this situation, Inquisitor.”

Her boots hit the floor with a clank and the inkpot shattered as it was knocked off with the motion. She leaned across the desk and looked up at him. “Are you encouraging me to try to stop you?”

“I am simply encouraging you to do what is right.”

Adi chuckled. “I see. Now that I know what you do, you want me to tell you you’re doing the right thing.” With a series of pops, she cracked the knuckles on her left hand. “Letting Corypheus get your orb was a mistake. Locking away the Evanuris wasn’t. Thedas didn’t go to shit because you put the Veil in place. Thedas was already shit.”

Solas took a step back as she stood and hefted her axe. She moved to the empty side of the room and swung it a few times to release excess energy. “Thedas will still be shit after you remove the Veil. It’s always going to be shit. Do you know why?”

“I would like to hear your reasons.”

“Because people are awful. They like power and they like killing each other. Magic just amplifies the difference between the haves and the have nots.” She held out her right hand and let him feel the subtle bite of her Seeker abilities. “And one race living forever doesn’t do anyone any favors. You wanna do favors? Equal the playing field.”

“You know I need to atone for what I did.”

“What was the birthrate for your people? I wonder. Actually, I don’t. I’ve seen the records. It was low. The only reason the population was stable was because you lived so long. And stable is putting it pretty loosely, since your friends kept killing each other faster than they could procreate. That’s why you locked them away in the first place.”

Solas leaned against the desk and just stared at her.

“Humans are smarter, stronger and longer lived than mabari, but it doesn’t take much for one to be outnumbered.”

“I will deal with that after I restore my people.”

“You’ll drown in your own hypocrisy. It’ll be delightful. Just accept that bad things happen. It’s arrogance, not  _ pride _ that makes the guilt weigh on you.” She set the axe head on the floor and leaned against the haft. “May all your plans come to fruition.”

 

\---

 

Adrianna felt the exact moment that Corypheus’s consciousness was destroyed. She felt no relief, no triumph. The corrupted body hung in the air, now suspended by the rift made from it rather than its owner’s power. The light from her anchor went out. It sat dormant in her hand, asleep now that the orb was cracked.

She stepped up to the rift. The others yelled, shouted in relief, in shock, in who knew what as they realized it was over. “It’s done,” Adrianna said, though the words were quiet, drowned out by the cheers. Desperate purpose grabbed her. Anchor first, she stepped into the rift.

Eye closed, she tilted her head back and waited for the Fade to dissolve her down to nothing. She had no will holding her form together. No purpose to pursue. It was done. She was done. 

But nothingness eternal refused to come. Feeling the fool, she opened her eyes, annoyed at her continued existence and curious about her location in the Fade despite herself. She was in a particularly real part of the Fade, it seemed. Untouched snow and in the distance, Skyhold, as ruined as it had been for centuries before she claimed it.

A crash of thunder startled her to senses she’d left behind at Adamant. Blinking, she looked to the sky, searching for storm clouds. There were none. There was nothing in the sky. Nothing except the Breach.

“...Well, shit.”


	2. Bad Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adi makes it back to Inquisition forces, but realizes the Herald _isn't_ one of the assorted strangers she saw before approaching the Divine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The difference between Max's Thedas and Adi's Thedas is a single choice, made by the player character in some earlier time. However, it is not a Choice listed on the Keep and the ramifications extend past what would be associated gameplay changes.

Adrianna didn’t know what was worse. There were so many awful things to choose from. A fresh new Breach in the sky was a good contender, especially since it meant there was an equally fresh Corypheus out there. The next contender was being stranded in the middle of the Frostbacks with only her armor and axe. (But that, at least, was remedied once she found some bandits, so she supposed it didn’t count.) The terrible thing that haunted her the most was what was waiting for her back at Haven. Cullen. 

She scratched the back of her head, pausing to pull her left hand out and frown at the thin ramskin glove. Adi looked up at the Breach and even though she could see it pulse, the anchor didn’t react. “I guess there’s another anchor to go with the new Breach.”

But she already knew that. She figured that out the first night. The rest of the journey had been spent trying to come up with a story that wouldn’t land her on Lelianna’s knife. There was no way she could pretend nothing had happened. She’d been at the Conclave with Divine Justinia and then she’d disappeared for days and now was showing up from the middle the Frostbacks? 

She shivered when she contemplated the body of the second Adrianna Trevelyan that laid in the ruins of the Temple of Sacred Ashes. It never occurred to her that this Thedas’s Adi might have survived to be the Herald a second time. No, there had been a handful of people, all looking varying levels of legitimate, loitering around the room where she’d found Corypheus and the Divine.

Adi’s anchor didn’t resonate with the tear in the sky, but it had closed the rift she passed on her way out of the mountains just fine. But she was just focusing on distractions. She didn’t want to think about seeing Cullen who wasn’t  _ her _ Cullen. She paused, leaning against a tree as her chest burned and she blinked back tears.

Before she could move again, she heard the crashing of horses through the thing undergrowth. Adi leaned forward across the game track and jerked back as a lovely roan slowed to a halt next to her. Blinking in the spray of dust and leaf debris, she looked up at- “Max!”

“Adi!” Her older brother shouted as he dismounted and tackled her in a single motion. 

Her armor clanked as he slammed her back into the tree, but she didn’t care, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing a few tears out. “Max, I haven’t seen you since-”

“Adrianna!” Cassandra leapt from her own horse and added her own arms to the mess.

“Oh, I thought you were dead, little sister. I’ve had no word and the Lord Seeker has clearly lost himself and you- Oh.” Maxwell pulled back just enough to kiss her on the forehead.

Before she could reply, there was a snap, as the very air rent itself asunder to reveal a rift. Adi tensed.  _ I wanted to keep  _ my _ anchor a secret, but I have to- _ Her thoughts were cut off as she heard the familiar answering crackle of the anchor, rather,  _ an _ anchor. Her brother’s left hand was bare and glowing green. She hissed and pulled back, drawing her axe. 

Maxwell sprinted forward, his shield held up and angled down, in the Templar style, though she thankfully still felt no lyrium in him. Adi followed next to Cassandra and together they tore into the demons. The familiar rachet and twang of Varric’s crossbow sounded from somewhere behind and a burst of spirit magic crashed into the wraith on her left.

Adi turned away as Max sealed the rift to hide her instinctive motion to do the same. Varric stalked up to her and hefted Bianca. “Nice timing, Junior. I’m Varric Tethras and this is Bianca.”

“That’s a story,” she said, half struck-dumb by receiving the same nickname as before. She wasn’t even wearing her Seeker armor.

“And I am Solas. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

Adi bit her tongue and stalled for time by nodding to each of them. “Seeker Adrianna Trevelyan.”

“Adi, what happened? Father’s been waiting on a letter from you and then, well, there’s the whole hole in the sky.” Max came up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder.

She tried to grin, but it fell flat, but she thought that would help her lie. “I was going to say, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you, but you have a magic green hand, so maybe being lost in the Fade isn’t so strange.”

“In the Fade?” Solas asked, voice sharp and fast. “ _ Physically _ in the Fade?”

Her hands raised in a shrug. “It’s the only explanation I can think of. I’m not a mage, so I don’t know.” Adi flinched when Solas raised a glowing hand at her.

“You are Fade-touched.”

“Thank you..?”

Varric took her arm. “Don’t worry about Chuckles. He does that. I’m used to all of this weird shit.”

“From your time with the Champion.” 

“You read my books? Excellent.”

“I read  _ that _ book. Cassandra leant me the first issue of Swords and Shields and I nearly threw it away out of habit.”

“Adi!”

“Swords and… Seeker?” Varric’s head turned almost entirely around like an owl.

“Let’s get Adi back to Haven. We’ve got a lot to report back about Redcliffe and the mages.”

 

\-----------

 

Adi slid onto the bench opposite Varric in Haven’s tiny pub. It was filled nearly to bursting with Inquisition Forces, allies and Bull’s Chargers, though the Qunari himself was nowhere in sight, out with the Herald. “I need your help.”

“Anything you need, Junior, I’m your dwarf.”

“You’re going to regret saying that.”

“I regret a lot of things. Spill.”

After fidgeting in her seat, Adrianna sighed and laid her hands, both covered in thin leather gloves, on the table palms down. “The Maker gives us freewill. Without it, we’d all be little machines just doing what was right all of the time.”

Varric nodded, but didn’t interrupt. His stare was intense and narrowed, listening for a good story.

“The Maker has a plan for us, but at the end of the day, we have to choose for ourselves to as He would want. But what if… What if, someone chose differently. It happens. It has to. The Maker doesn’t want people robbed or murdered or worse. Choices are made and those choices have consequences.

“But what if  _ both _ choices were made? What if there was one Thedas where you turned left and a  _ second _ Thedas where you turned right?”

Varric shrugged, unmoved. “A lot of books like that get written. Mostly crazy manifestos about how Thedas would be better if this or that person was actually in charge. Usually trash. If you’re looking for someone to publish for you, I’m not going to recommend mine.”

The breath held tight in Adi’s lungs as she, again, talked herself into revealing the truth. She felt the people around them, but knew no one would notice. Lelianna’s agents wouldn’t be suspicious. They wouldn’t listen in on the conversation. Knowing that it was safer to talk secrets here than out in the wilderness rubbed her the wrong way. It always would. “What if they were connected through the Fade? These other Thedases.”

Firm hands smoothed down the front of Varric’s fancy coat. He broke eyecontact and stared at the table. “Keep talking.”

“And time passes differently in the Fade, right? Mages talk about all of the time. They dream for what feels like weeks in the Fade and they wake up and it’s just morning. So maybe it’s next year in Thedas where you locked the door last night and it’s still today here where you left it open.”

“ _ Shit _ . This has to do with the mages at Redcliffe, doesn’t it?”

“It’s bigger than that.” She tugged at her glove and shoved him the dormant anchor on her left palm.

“Junior, what are you in the middle of?”

“Nothing. It’s  _ over _ where I’m from. I didn’t want to be the hero. The champion chased across Thedas whenever something goes to shit. I went into the last rift, but I came out  _ here _ . Max never even went to the Conclave. He was back at home, running the bannorn.”

“Well this is…” He hesitated as she covered her hand again. “A lot of weird shit. But nothing I’m regretting… yet.”

“The one who blew up the Temple of Sacred Ashes?”

“Not Anders come back from the dead, I hope.”

Adi opened her mouth, but then closed it, sidetracked. “Anders is  _ dead _ ?”

“Of course he is! Hawke executed him after-” He leaned forward. “Are you saying where you’re from he’s  _ not _ dead?”

“No, he’s not. That’s why I need your help. I don’t know what I don’t know here. Supposedly, I was travelling with the other Seekers and just up and stopped answering my letters, but where I’m from, I was working for the Divine directly and guarding her at the Conclave while Cas brought you in.”

“Shit, Junior. This is bad.”

“Corypheus destroyed the Temple.”

The dwarf spit out a string of curses. “He was dead.”

“It didn’t stick. Lelianna and the others need to know, but they’re not going to believe me. At best, I’m some spirit that found a way to solidify itself, like Cole-”

“Cole?”

“You’ll meet him later. I hope. But at worst, I’m possessed or a demon just pretending to be Adrianna. This is  _ too _ crazy, even with the hole in the sky.”

“Corypheus. Shit.  _ Shit _ . Okay. I’m on board, but I don’t know anything about you.”

“Just help me cover up any lies and investigate when I have questions. I can’t exactly go around asking questions I should already know the answer to.” She twisted her fingers together in knots, squeezing hard enough for a few of the knuckles to crack. “And… You need to convince Max not to go to Therinfal. It’s too late. The Templars have been dosed with red lyrium. They’re corrupted.”

“This just gets better and better.”

 

\---

 

“Adi, go!” Maxwell shouted, pointing up to the Chantry as Corypheus’s archdemon swooped overhead. “He only wants me!”

“You’re the only one with the Mark! If you die, all is lost!” Adrianna shouted back over the screams of battle. She held her left hand behind her back, pulsing energy out of her anchor to continue to draw Corypheus. “Get out of here! He won’t know you’re gone until it’s too late.”

“Fine, if you want to rob Mother of the rest of her children in fell swoop, far be it from me to save your conscience.” Maxwell spit the words out and clapped his helmet down.

With a groan, Adi lifted her axe and stood at her brother’s side as Corypheus approached.  _ I was just going to kill him now. I know how to make it stick. But  _ noo _ , Older Brother knows best. _ When Corypheus was  distracted trying to rip the anchor from Max, she released the trebuchet. When Corypheus threw her brother to the ground, his anchor flared and she activated hers, destroying the wooden platform beneath their feet and just barely escaping the avalache.

_ This is a lot easier without a bunch of broken ribs and feedback from his messing around with the Anchor _ . “Come on, Max. We’ve gotta keep going.”

“...We’re alive?”

Grateful for his confusion, Adi dragged him up, throwing one arm over her shoulders to help him through the tunnel. “Seems so.”

Max screamed as the anchor in his hand reacted to the residual energies. “This… This  _ anchor _ … it wasn’t gifted by Andraste.”

“Everything that happens is the Will of the Maker. He never acts directly; this is no different.” The words sounded trite in her own mouth, but she spit them out by rote.  _ Mother would be proud _ . Together they staggered through the snow drifts that seeped into the tunnel from above and dispatched the few clustered demons.  _ Who cares if Max had seen I had the Mark, too? I should have just killed Corypheus anyway. How much easier could this have been? _

When they broke through the end of the tunnel, covered over with snow, they entered the blizzard.

“Adi, this is hopeless. We’re in the middle of the mountains in a blizzard.”

“I would think that’s a bit of a stretch. Sealing a giant hole in the sky was definitely more hopeless than this. Besides. You’re the Herald. They’ll be looking for you.”

Max panted and his voice sounded lost and delirious as they trudged through the snow. “Maybe you should’ve been the Herald, Adi.”

“Who knows what would have happened, then.”


	3. You, too; Not you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't what I intended. But it was fun. So there you go.

Leaves crunched under their feet as they approached Caer Oswin. Anxiety kept a tight grip on Adi’s heart, unhelped by the polished Seeker armor she wore. At this point, she was much more familiar with the carefully modified dragon bone and skin piece her Thedas’s Harrit and Dagna had created. 

Cassandra’s voice was low and twinged with confusion. “I still can’t imagine why the Lord Seeker would bring us to Bann Loren’s holdings…”

Varric grunted. “Me either. Too unbelievable to be made up. Trust me, Seeker, they’re here.”

Adrianna managed to not glance at Varric as he lied for her. She patted her belt pouch, hearing the chink of glass on glass from the potions she’d specially prepared.  Her hands clenched and relaxed over and over as she tried to calm herself for the ‘revelations’ ahead.

Everything took on a dream-like quality as they broke into the servants’ entrance. The pounding of her heart drowned out Cassandra’s words as they raced to the dungeons, terrified of what they would find, even though she already knew.  __ I just… I want this to work  
  
Daniel was pressed against the bars of the first cell when they breached the heavy door. “Cassandra!” 

“Daniel! Thank the Maker, you’re alright.”

They gripped hands through the bars as Varric  went around to each of the cells, picking the locks and gagging at the scent of rotting flesh. “You owe me big for this, Seeker.”

Feeling numb, Adrianna walked up to Daniel. She didn’t want the answer, but she had to ask. “Daniel, are you alright?”

On cue, Daniel bent over, clutching his abdomen and wailing in agony. When it subsided, he looked up at her, panting. “Adi... but you’re dead.”

“Nevermind me. Are you well? We saw the Red Templars...”

His eyes were glazed and his voice was delirious enough that no one questioned his claim. Daniel straightened and grabbed onto Adi’s shoulders as Cassandra moved between the other newly freed Seekers. “We’re resistant to the red lyrium. It can’t take hold. Oh, Adi, they fed me  _ things _ . Fed  _ you _ things…”

“I’ll make this right, Daniel. I promise.” She looked over his shoulder at Cassandra. “Find the Lord Seeker. Make him pay. I’ll deal with them.”

Cassandra nodded before setting down a sack of healing potions and leaving the dungeon with Varric and Dorian on her heels. Most of the Seekers followed behind; only those who shared Daniel’s glazed and dying look stayed behind.

“Adi, you’re  _ dead _ .”

She put her hand on Daniel’s abdomen and sent out a burst of energy, the most she could summon with her Seeker abilities.

“We tried that.  _ You _ tried that. It just comes back.” Tears trailed down Daniel’s face and there was no hope in his eyes.

“Daniel, you need to calm down, so I can help you. Trust me.” She guided him to the floor of the dungeon and arranged the other shaken Seekers in a small circle around her. One by one, she blasted them with her ability. She gathered the cleanest refuse buckets she could find and placed them in front of her comrades.

“You have to trust me,” she said, as she pulled out strips of black cloth and began binding their eyes. “You don’t want to see what comes next, but you’ll be better, I promise.”

She expected at least one of them to fight her, to insist she was a demon set on betraying them like the Lord Seeker, but it seemed their wills were already shattered beyond fighting. Hands shaking, she pulled out the vials from her belt pouch. “Drink as much as you can and pass it to your left. It will feel like you’re throwing up your very stomach, but it’s the only way. The only thing that even has… a chance.” Her voice broke and she choked out a sob as she finished.

Unable to watch, she turned away from them and looked back into the cells, checking the bodies, trying to catalogue who they’d lost and who was missing. A chorus of agonized retching accompanied the grim task, but she continued all until she found… “Oh  _ Maker _ …” 

Adrianna fell to her knees, armor clanking louder than the fiercest thunder.  _ It’s me. I’m dead. It’s  _ my  _ body. I’m really dead. _ Some part of her had known she was dead, but despite Maxwell’s words, she’d assumed she’d died at the Conclave, with no more remains than ash. Seeing herself there, in her armor, torn apart from within, weighed heavier than the Nightmare. Heavier even than Cullen’s death.

With silent sobs, she looted her own body. She despaired of finding anything when her first pockets, the ones she always kept stocked with pretty pebbles, were empty. Adi had just begun pulling away when she saw something peeking out of her sundered breastplate. Gently, she removed a thick packet of parchment, held close to her chest just before her death. She replaced it in her current armor and turned back to her fellows.

They sobbed and moaned in pain, but they all seemed to be done… expelling. Looking at the contents as little as possible, she kicked the buckets away and unbound their eyes, handing out healing potions. “We’ll take you back to Skyhold. The healers will make this all right, I swear it.”

She sat next to Daniel, as much a victim as the others, and sobbed as they waited for Cassandra to return.

 

\---

 

“What is this?” Adrianna’s hand shook violently as she held out the papers to Varric. Once he took them, she quickly downed another calming drought. Her armor rang loudly in the hall as she slumped onto the bench opposite Varric.

“Hey Junior. You’re up and walking again, that’s good. I was sure the healers were never going to let you go.” He skimmed over the papers as she sat down across from him. He took a sip of ale, which turned into a mistake as he almost immediately spit it out. “This is from Choir Boy?”

“He has a nickname?” She sounded drunk. Or hungover.

“Of course he does. He was with us in Kirkwall for years.” Varric glanced at the second page, looking even more scandalized. “Why are you asking what this is? It’s obviously a love letter. A rather graphic one. I guess those stories of debauchery were accurate.” He looked at her with eyebrows raised.

Adi met his eyes from where she was slumped on the table, fever sweat beading on her forehead. Guests came and went past her, their clothes brushing her back, but she paid no mind. “I remember him being a Brother.

Varric’s face switched to recognition. “Ah yeah, well, you can probably blame Hawke’s influence for part of that.” He held the papers out to her, his expression unchanged even as it took her far too long to lift her hand for them. “I can see how this is something  _ you _ ’d want to remember.”

“I,” Adi hesitated on the word, “was writing a reply. He sent that completely unsolicited.”

“Not completely,” Max interjected. He stepped up behind Adi and put a hand on her back.

Adi nearly jumped out of her skin and fell off the bench in shock. She accepted her brother’s help back into a sitting position. Adi rested her head on the wooden table, head tilted to the side to look up. “Not completely?”

“You must’ve never gotten Father’s letter about the proposal. Since he left the Chantry, the inbred mabari is trying to curry favor with the pious families in the Marches. Father took the bait. Something, something, honest woman out of you.”

A half-hearted chuckle forced its way out of Adi’s chest.

“Inbred mabari? Now that’s new.” Varric said, eyes glinting and far too excited for his own continued health. “You chantry goers always seemed to like Choir Boy.”

“Oh yes and worse. I just won’t say it in front of my sister. The Vael brat was forcibly ejected from the bannorn by my father and I.”

“Without trousers,” Adrianna added, voice weak.

“Shit, I knew I should have believed him.”

“Chin up, Varric. You’ll have plenty of time to bleed him for stories once he gets here.”

Adi sat straight up at that, clutching her head as she saw stars. “What do you  _ mean _ ‘gets here?’”

Maxwell cracked his knuckles. “The man just heard his intended is alive, afterall. And now I have another opportunity to beat the tar out of him.”

Adi collapsed against the table with a groan. “I thought Father gave that up. It was twenty years ago.”

 

\---

 

“Are you sure we should be travelling alone, Princess?” Hawke called from his horse. The mage’s staff rocked on his back with the movement of the horse beneath him. “What ever would your family think?”

“Hawke, I will tear you limb from limb with this axe and then you can bloodmagic yourself back together if you don’t cut that out.” Adi replied without menane while also making rude hand gestures.

“I like you. How about, I claim the Amell title and you marry me, instead?”

“What do you want for a dowry? A new set of bloodletting knives? How about a terribly evil Tevinter Magister for you to draw from?”

“Now, now, don’t make all of my satinalias come at once.” He waved at the second moon, visible even in the daytime sky.

They rode in a companionable silence for most of the trip. Adi didn’t have words for her gratitude. She’d liked Hawke in her own Thedas well enough and was prepared to loathe the same man using bloodmagic, but poor choices aside, Hawke was the best friend she could ask for. Every time the memories threatened to overwhelm her, he’d start teasing and picking at her until she focused on the present.  _ He knows something about loss... _

Their horses, a pair of Dennet’s mares, picked a steady pace through the lands surrounding Crestwood. With all of the shambling undead and determined Wardens, the road was arguably slower.

The vision came back. Her own armor, torn apart from the inside. She forced words, any words, out of her mouth. “If you’d known what Cassandra wanted, would you have gone to the Conclave?”

“Are you kidding? The last thing I want is another title. There are enough misguided people looking at me for inspiration, as it is. Besides, if I’d been the one to get the anchor, your brother would be dead.” He jabbed a finger at her.

Adi frowned. “My sister  _ did _ die there.”

“I- oh. Sorry.” He cleared his throat and steered his mare up the the low hill that looked the same as every other hill they’d passed so far. “Well, if both of them had died, then you’d be head of the family and could barter yourself away like a piece of meat.”

“Excuse you, Hawke, I measure my worth in units of cows.”

“You’re going to have to start converting to sheep while the exchange rate is still good. You know, being Princess of Starkhaven and all.” He looked over his shoulder at her with that shit-eating grin.

“I’ll have you know, I haven’t agreed to anything. Whatever my father says, I can leverage my position as a Seeker to refuse. I haven’t even  _ seen _ Sebastian in some twenty years.” She raised her chin in a regal posture and sniffed.

“I hope he’s still running around in that ridiculous white armor.” Hawke used one hand to dig around in his robes before pulling out a somewhat crumpled sheet of paper. He then began reading aloud from one of the more graphic sections of Sebastian’s love letter. He paused and looked at her. “I think that’s enough description to give you a good idea of what he looks like.”

“I’m getting the feeling you encouraged all of the trouble your friends got into in Kirkwall.”

Hawke let out a belly laugh and they settled into silence once more. As daylight faded, clouds rolled in overhead and rain began to mist down over them. With no little haste, they found cover under a rocky overhang. Adi stayed out with the horses while Hawke checked the cave for giant spiders, bears or more giant spiders. 

She lead the horses in when he shouted the all clear and made it to him just in time to watch him start a campfire with a lazy snap of his fingers. After they made a proper camp and settled down, Hawke spoke again, his voice serious for once. “I heard about Caer Oswin. Are you going to be okay?”

“Eventually. For now, I’m just going to survive.” A chilly hand squeezed around her heart. “But if you tell Stroud about this Princess nonsense, you might not.”

 

\---

 

A feather floated down from the rookery and Adi caught it out of the air. She worried it between her fingers, but kept her focus on Lelianna. “You read the report. Corypheus is using Wardens and bloodmagic to summon and bind his demon army. It’s just as awful as you think. And most of the Wardens are willing sacrifices.”

“And they’re gathering at Adamant?” A raven flew in and landed on the slight perch just behind her, but Lelianna didn’t turn her head away from the report in her hands.

Adi nodded. “Yes. As reported, Hawke and Stroud are going to scout the fortifications so we know how much has changed from the original design. Cullen mentioned that we had the schematics.”

Lelianna nodded and then looked up, her eyes staring directly into Adi’s soul. “Have you spoken with Josephine since you arrived?”

“No…”  _ Please not Halam’shiral again. Please no. _

“We want you to come to Halam’shiral with your brother.”

Adi didn’t even try to hide her groan. “Don’t we have more important things to-”

“Nothing is more important than your brother’s continued survival.  _ You _ have experience with the Orlesian court-”

“Less than you or Josephine.”

“But no one will remember you, meaning you can-”

“Orlesians remember nothing  _ except _ who they’ve met at court. They’ll remember me.”

“Operate under the radar. They will be watching for Inquisition people-”

“Which I  _ am _ .”

“But no one will be paying attention to the Princess of Starkhaven.”

“By the  _ Maker _ ; you too? Really? Is this  _ really  _ how we’re going to do this?” She cursed under her breath and pounded her fist on the table, though there wasn’t much energy in it by this point.

“We must give all that we have, if we want to save Thedas.” Lelianna sat across from her and took both of Adrianna’s hands into her own. “We can annul it the moment we’re done at the Winter Palace. Adi, please. This isn’t just for the Inquisition. You’ve been falling apart ever since you came out of the Fade.  _ Cassandra _ is worried about you and she’s… Well, you know her well enough.”

It was only the genuine concern in Lelianna’s features that kept Adi from ripping her hands away and spitting at her. “And marrying me off to stranger is supposed to help?”

Lelianna sighed. “I was a Lay Sister and I served as Justinia’s Left Hand. This has all hurt you deeply and shaken your faith. Please believe me, there is no one better to help you than Sebastian.”

Adrianna took back her left hand and squeezed the bridge of her nose. “Lelianna, I’m a  _ Seeker _ . I won’t make vows in front of the Maker and then just sign some papers to pretend it never happened. This isn’t- I just-” She sighed. “Even if he was a Brother, marrying him  _ now _ isn’t going to help anything.”

“You joined the Seekers to serve the Maker. Sometimes, you can better serve Him in another role. The Seekers and Templars are both in tatters right now. This is an opportunity to do His will while they rebuild.”

“I could help-”

“Every time you and the others so much as see each other, we have at least one person in hysterics. There’s no shame in accepting your weaknesses.”

Adi squeezed her eyes shut against the tears, but they fell. “I can’t stop seeing the dungeons in Caer Oswin.”

“The Maker doesn’t want you to torture yourself while trying to serve Him.”

“I’ll do it. You’re right. All we can give.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it was up to me, my fics would be 100% dialogue.


	4. Insight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adi garbage at this whole "keeping secrets" thing.

A cool breeze twisted around the battlements. Adrianna sat on the inner edge, overlooking the well in Skyhold’s lower courtyard. Her fine leathers kept out the evening chill and the two moons overhead gave her just enough light to examine a handful of polished pebbles. She’d gone straight to her quarters from Lelianna’s roost, but was immediately cornered by Josephine, who unwittingly informed her that this wedding she was corralled into was  _ tomorrow _ and literally everything had already been arranged.

It was all she could do not to open a rift right there and just walk in again.

Once she’d escaped Josephine, she’d looked for a good-enough hiding place. Once the sun set, she crept out onto the battlements near Cullen’s office. Few were brave enough to come to this part of the keep so late. The commander’s wrath was nothing to be trifled with. Every now and then, a servant cut through the courtyard below, but no one even looked up.

The swish-scratch of leather on stone told her someone was approaching. If it was her brother or Hawke, they were about to become immediately acquainted with the well. She had good aim. Adrianna stubbornly kept her eyes trained on it until something tapped her shoulder. 

A man that could only be Sebastian stood next to her, holding out a half-filled glass. She raised a single eyebrow as she took it.

“Whisky.”

“Whisky,” she repeated as he sat next to her. As Hawke had guessed, his armor was blindingly white, even in the dim of the night. And it seemed too armored in parts. Surely it was too unweildy for an archer.

“It’s what we call scotch, remember? We have to act as if we’re more pretentious than the Orlesians.” Sebastian sat just next to her, but without touching. In the moonlight, he looked just as Varric described in the Tale of the Champion, missing only the garish belt-buckle Varric spent ten too many words detailing.

“As if that were possible,” Adi said before downing the liquid. She held the glass out to him and was almost surprised when he produced the bottle and refilled it.

“We can try.” He sipped from his own glass, but said nothing else. They sat quietly with only the soft clink-chink of her pebbles hitting the glass as she continued to examine them.

“I forgot you had that stupid accent,” Adi said eventually, balancing her glass on her knee as she worked.

“If I remember right, you used to like it.”

“If I remember right, we were too drunk to have meaningful opinions about anything.”

“That, too,” he conceded with a laugh.

“And even if I did, hearing Hawke and Varric parrot it at me while reading that  _ preposterous  _ letter you sent would have ruined it.”

Sebastian laughed so hard he nearly dropped his glass. “What letter? I only sent you a note saying I was agreeable to your father’s proposal.”

“Oh, agreeable, sure, if that’s what you call it.” She pocketed her pebbles, took another sip of the scotch before pulling out the wrinkled paper. “Don’t even pretend you don’t-”

Sebastian interrupted her with a laugh so loud, a few roosting birds took flight and the servant below actually froze in place. “I cannot believe this. I was joking!”

“Well Hawke and Varric think you’re  _ hilarious _ .”

Still laughing, Sebastian held the letter out to her. “The seneschal was giving me a hard time about your father’s offer. He was the one who had to explain to my parents why the Trevelyans were so angry, back then, so I jokingly said the response should be…” He trailed off, laughing. “I am so sorry. I did not even check what the letter said before I signed it.”

Adrianna shook her head, laughing despite herself. “You need better staff.”

“In my defense, there is no way Varric would mistake that for my handwriting. He could have cleared this up and chose not to.”

She shoved his shoulder. “No, that’s no defence. You had no reason to think I would meet Varric. This is all on you.”

“No wonder you’ve been so angry. It must have felt as if we were all having a laugh at you.”

“That, too.” Adi shoved the crinkled paper back into her armor.

“Truly, I’m sorry it turned out this way.” He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and then leaned in just so much that their shoulders touched. “I knew you were a Seeker, of course, but maybe it was the Maker offering you another path, as He did me.”

After several long moments, Adi took a deep breath and said, “The Maker can only lay the path before us. We must choose whether or not we follow it.”

“Is that not what I said?”

Adi shot him a look, but he may have missed it in the darkness. “I’m going somewhere with this.” She paused, trying to put her thoughts back in order. “Who’s to say He is… content… with our choices? Who’s to say there isn’t a second Thedas somewhere beyond the Fade where we  _ did _ choose as he wished?”

Sebastian made a thoughtful noise and then put her arm around her waist. “I believe thinking too hard on that leads only to regrets. Dwelling on ‘what if’ brings no peace.”

“What if,” Adrianna said, removing her gloves and setting them in her lap. “I was the Inquisitor?”

Sebastian stilled and then tightened his hold on her. “Does that thought haunt you?”

Adrianna activated the anchor for the briefest moment, just enough for a flash of green light. “In a way.”

“You...” He drew the word out. “From  _ another _ Thedas? And this one’s Adrianna  _ did _ die?”

“I saw the body at Caer Oswin.”

The glass slipped from his hand and clattered down to grass below where it broke with a crash that neither of them paid any attention to. “I… Can’t imagine what that must have been like. How is this possible?”

“All I know is that seeing that body was the single worst moment of my life. And when I was Inquisitor I watched my husband die.”

“That…” He let out a breath, saying nothing else, though his lips moved as he silently went through the Chant in his head.

“Yes, that.” She pulled her gloves back on. “No one knows I’m not the… proper… Adrianna. What Daniel and the others experienced was so traumatic, they just assume their memories are wrong. I don’t know what plan the Maker has for me. Perhaps I needed to be here, with you, and this Adrianna was already gone.”

“You’ve told no one?”

“Only Varric. I needed help. There are differences. Differences I have no knowledge of. Where I’m from, you’re a Lay Brother. I was afraid- I- The Inquisition might fail without a clear leader. The mark on my hand alone is enough to challenge Max’s position and we can’t afford to falter.”

“Yet you risk that stability to tell me?”

“I wouldn’t have us take vows before the Maker under false pretenses, even if the  _ reason _ for those vows is political.”

“Thank you, Adi. I… Thank you.”

 

\---

 

Adrianna turned towards the door to her room when she heard it open without knocking.

“Alright, Junior, I think I figured-” Varric cut himself off mid-sentence when he saw that Sebastian was sitting across from Adi at her table, a pile of papers scattered between them. “Nevermind.”

“You figured it out?” Sebastian said, standing.

Varric frowned at Adi. “You told him?”

“He’s my husband!”

“You  _ told  _ him!”

“We are married in the eyes of the Maker. Of course I told him.”

“Andraste’s tits, you two deserve each other.”

Sebastian just grinned at the dwarf as he closed the door. “Tell us what you found, Varric. As much as I’d like to imagine it was me choosing my birthright, I doubt that is important enough to change the tide so much.”

Varric grumbled under his breath about stupid humans and then dropped Adrianna’s copy of Tale of the Champion on the table. “You’re awful at keeping secrets. Try not to say or do anything, Junior. You  _ wrote in the margins _ ! If Nightengale got her hands on this, you’d be locked in a cell.”

Heat rushed to Adrianna’s face. “Yes, I understand, I made a mistake. Just tell us.”

“The best I can guess from your notes and talking to Hawke-”

“Why did you have to talk to Hawke?”

“Will you let me finish? Stop demanding the answer and then interrupting me. You’re worse than the  _ other _ Junior.”

“Now that’s just unkind, Varric.”

“Shut up, Choir Boy.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, my best guess is Hawke choosing to use bloodmagic.”

Adrianna’s eyes lost focus as she considered this. “How does that result in the other changes, though?”

“Beats me. That’s just the earliest  _ choice _ that had a different result.”

“I can see it.” Sebastian said, measuring out each word. “While I can’t condone bloodmagic, part of me did - does - acknowledge that he is trying to reach the best end result. By any means necessary.”

“Hence you further the Maker’s goals better as a Prince than a Brother, even if it’s more worldly,” Adrianna finished. They beamed at each other.

Varric devolved into gagging noises. “Yeah, you two deserve each other. I’m done.”

They both watched as he stormed out of Adi’s suite. She shrugged and picked up her book, only to find all of the pages on which she’d written notes missing. “Of course.”

“To be fair, he is right about that.”

The fire in her hearth roared as she threw the rest of the book onto it. “He goaded me the most out of anyone. I don’t think he’s allowed to make fun.”

“I’m afraid it’s my fault. He never really liked me.”

“No?”

“Said I was too boring.”

Adi snorted. “Posturing. He is Andrastian, you know.”

He shook his head. “Is he now? It’s hard to tell with how much he blasphemes.”

“The other Varric liked me.” She rubbed her chin. “At least until Adamant. Well, and he was mad about Cole.”

“Cole?”

“ _ It isn’t fair. I didn’t choose this. I didn’t want this. But I didn’t choose last time and it was wonderful _ ” The words began from nowhere, but Cole was fully visible by the time he finished. “Hello.”

Sebastian glanced at Adi for a cue before extending his hand. “A pleasure to meet you, Cole. I’m Prince Sebastian Vael of Starkhaven.”

Cole ignored the hand, simply nodding. “I know.  _ Light again. It always comes, but always goes. Bright, warm, comfort, but I don’t want to miss it. _ ” He looked carefully at each of them before disappearing again.

“Who- What was that?”

Adrianna focused on straightening the documents on the table. Josephine wanted them all finished by dinner and they’d barely made any headway on the exact terms of the marriage. “That was Cole. It’s a spirit of compassion that coalesced into human form.”

“It’s not possessing anyone, then? Not like- Well, not an abomination.”

Picking up a quillpen, Adi scanned the document on top, adding her initials, scratching them out when she realized she used her old ones, writing her  _ proper _ initials and sliding the page over. “No. It’s fully independent. As I was told before, spirits take on monstrous shapes in our world because they don’t understand it. It wants to  _ help _ , so he has a form that lets it fulfill its purpose.”

Scritch, scritch as Sebastian initialed. “What was it saying? About… the light.”

She didn’t dare look up. “Most people don’t remember it or what it says. Thus, it has no reason  _ not _ to simply repeat whatever it finds in someone else’s head.”

“Oh.”

“It was really only my inner circle that remembered it, but it still revealed many things people wanted left private.” Against her will, her memory went back - _ No, please, I don’t want to remember _ \- to the ride back to Skyhold once she finally left the Fade. Her hand clenched around the quill until it snapped in half and then she could no longer hold back the sobs.

With a crash, Sebastian’s chair hit the floor and a moment later he pulled Adi out of hers and held her tightly. “I’m sorry. Things will get better. I promise.”

Her wail rattled the single window. “He died thinking  _ I _ was dead. Regret and guilt and shame and loneliness and then  _ nothing _ . He died blaming himself.”

“Shh. I’ve got you, Adi.”


	5. Real People

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what happened. 
> 
> I also have a DA2 -> DAI fic coming after this that my husband has been assisting me with.

The carriage wheels rattled and clanked against the cobblestones. Adrianna watched the scenery pass through the small window. Her Orlesian mask laid delicately in her lap, a midnight blue to match her gown and Sebastian’s doublet. 

“I realized a flaw in Sister Lelianna’s plan, but only just last night. I thought it was a bit late to ask.”

Adi responded with a single, upraised eyebrow.

“You’re presenting as the Princess of Starkhaven, but to legitimize you, we had to send out the official announcement. Anyone who saw it will know immediately that you’re the Inquisitor’s sister.”

“Oh, I suppose you wouldn’t know. I go by Adrianna Fournier in Orlais. It’s my mother’s name - you know what they think of Marcher nobility.”

Sebastian laughed and took her hand. “That I do. Quaint at best, barbaric at worst. I know you were forced into this, but I have faith this will turn out to be the correct path for us.”

Adrianna lifted her mask and affixed it to her face to put off responding. The carriage slowed to a stop. She met his eyes through their masks. “I’ve simply decided to put my trust in you and my faith in the Maker.”

Sebastian squeezed her hand and helped her down out of the carriage. “I know.” He held out his arm and lead her into the receiving garden. “What I don’t know is whom we should be watching.”

“The hostess, of course. Grand Duchess Florienne,” Adi said in the affected, lilting voice she used around Orlesians. 

If he was surprised, Sebastian made no sign of it. “A generous hostess indeed.” They wove their way through the nobles, Sebastian mentioning trade deals and alliances Adrianna only had vague knowledge of. 

At least she had enough experience winging it from her time as Inquisitor. “I feel as if I should have studied a great deal more for this.”

“You’re doing fine, my princess.”

Adrianna found herself gathering more attention than she expected. “Were you expecting this kind of response?” she whispered to Sebastian, once the Inquisition proper arrived and took everyone’s attention away. 

“To an extent.  Few have tried to ally with Starkhaven since my parents’ deaths. There’s been no stability. I’m the last of my line.” Sebastian’s tone was mild.

“Of course. I should have expected.” She shook her head. “Do  _ we  _ have an agenda, or are we just Inquisition pawns?”

“Just be seen and don’t make any promises. You being seen is boon enough for us. The best thing for Starkhaven, for all of Southern Thedas, is for Celene to remain in power. She pushes for peace and diplomacy. While Duke Gaspard may have a better claim, he’s too hungry for battle.”

“Yes, I agree-” Adi cut herself off and started swearing under her breath. “Last I was here, Lelianna made it clear that it would suit ‘our goals’ to have a somewhat more military mind on the seat of Orlais.”

Sebastian stiffened and then nodded slowly. “And I expect your brother would agree with her.”

Adi stood silently for a moment, listening while the herald announced her brother and his entourage. “There’s blackmail here that can be used against the Empress, but if Max lets her die, it won’t matter.”

“It  _ will  _ matter.”

She glanced at him. “The blackmail is in the royal apartments, but I only got in with a key. One that Max will receive, if this plays out the same way.”

“A key? Princess, you have me. I’ve never needed keys.” He grinned at her and kissed the back of her hand. “Go, dance. I’ll unlock the apartments and come back to you.”

Adrianna watched him go and then lingered near the dance floor. She accepted the first invitation and let the… Comte? Take her around. She tittered on with a lot of words that meant all of nothing. At the end of the set, she slipped out of the ballroom and back into the vestibule, uncomfortable showing her back to half of Orlais as she was spun around the dance floor.

She brushed hands with Sebastian and stepped lightly past him and back through the vestibule, up the stairs, and into the apartments. The man tied to the bed was just as funny as it had been the first time, but this time she managed to keep it to herself. After instructing him to leave and speak to no one, she slipped back into the ballroom.

“So quick?”

“Some blackmail has legs.”

Sebastian’s eyebrows rose high enough to show over his mask. “You’ll have to tell me later. The Inquisitor danced with the Grand Duchess while you were away.”

“It’s almost time, then.” She squeezed his arm. “We have to do something about this.”

Coins chinked quietly as Sebastian slipped her a purse. “Servants are the solution to many problems.”

Adrianna nodded and made her way down to the kitchens. Regardless of the  _ murders _ , the work machine was at full strength. A few servants looked at her as she opened the door, but by the time she got over her hesitation, they’d returned to their tasks. 

“What’s go’ you down here with  _ real _ people?”

A shameful shriek escaped her as Sera appeared literally out from under her dress. Adi put her hand over her chest and settled her heart and breath. Options churned through her mind. She didn’t like Sera,  _ Maker _ , she didn’t like Sera, but… There was no one better for the task. “I think Max wants to put Gaspard on the throne.”

Sera blew a raspberry. “What’s i’ matter? One velvet breeches is the same as the next.”

“No. Gaspard wants war. And war gets people killed.”

A light entered Sera’s eyes. “And  _ People-people _ , not them  _ nobles _ .”

She held out the coin purse to Sera. “The assassin will strike during Celene’s speech. Create a distraction and it’ll force Max’s hand. And see to it this is distributed where it should be.”

“Aye, aye, Princeybutt.”

 

\---

 

The sun beat down, cooking the Inquisition forces in their armor. “No wonder Hawke complained so much about your armor. It really is blinding.”

Sebastian laughed. “Merril used to say it was shiny.”

“That’s putting it lightly,” Adi grumbled. They rode silently for a time, their horses’ hooves sinking into the deep sand. Ahead rode the Inquisitor with the vanguard and behind them, the bulk of the forces. “...Be careful at Adamant, Sebastian. The fighting will go on through the night. You’ll stick out like a beacon.”

“Do not worry, love. I won’t fall.” He stared at her until Adi looked away.

Her axe beat against her back with the rolling gait of the mare. “I know what you’re thinking. And the answer is yes.” She stared at her left hand, seeing the anchor beneath her glove. “I’m… Not sure how things will go. It was chaos. I just… have to keep him alive.”

With a whicker, his horse came close to hers. He held out his hand. “Do what you have to. I understand.”

 

\---

 

“Princess Vael, you shouldn’t be here.” Cullen snapped as he cut down a demon.

Adrianna cut a swath with her axe and they both moved forward. “You’re the Inquisition Commander. Your life is arguably more important than mine. If you’re here, I’m here.”

Slowly, they pushed forward, cutting through the demons and enslaved wardens. A rage demon appeared up from the flagstones and Cullen sank his sword into the stone.    
As the templar magic washed over her, Adi snarled. “I’m going to kill my brother for this!” Anger fueled her as she hacked at the demon. Overhead, the archdemon screeched and instead of looking, Adi parried the pike aimed for Cullen’s heart.  _ Could the battle really be so similar? _

“The Inquisitor!” Cullen shouted, over the sound of breaking masonry.

“Focus on our people, Commander. The Inquisitor will find a way.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

A mage warden froze where he stood, staff-raised. Adi jerked her hand up, pulling on the lyrium in the man’s body. He lifted three feet off the stone before slamming back down, face-first. “Then we’ll need every man standing to keep the demons at bay.”

They fought side-by-side, cutting a path to Erimond’s rift. Now that she knew it was there, the sound of the lyrium in Cullen’s blood was almost deafening.  _ I’m going to kill him for this! Cullen doesn’t need… _ Her thoughts faltered.  _ What if he’d survived, if only he’d kept taking the lyrium? _ She thrust the thought aside and focused on the demons.

An arrow with white and blue fletching shot just in front of her eyes and into the chest of a warden who’d thought to sneak up on her. Adrianna tilted her head up and met Sebastian’s eyes across the keep. She nodded at him once and then turned back just as the rift expanded.  _ Max, you’d better be coming out. I don’t know how you’ll beat the Nightmare, but you’d better manage it. And if not you, that wolf had better make things right. _

Cole appeared first, followed by Stroud, Hawke… Adrianna clenched her jaw and tensed, waiting. Watching. After an eternity, Cassandra came out, carrying max, with Solas on her heels.

“Brother!” She dropped her axe and lunged forward. Between one breath and the next, she felt the rift expand and saw that her brother was unconscious.

Solas took Max’s left hand, anchor pointed at the rift. “We have to close the rift! The Nightmare’s coming through.”

“Healer!” Cassandra shouted. “We need to wake the Inquisitor! Now!”

With a snarl, Adi put her hand over Solas’s and activated her own anchor. Once the rift was closed, she met Solas’s eyes. “Later.”

She dropped her hand and stepped away from her brother. Her boots clanged on the stones and she shoved her way through the throngs of Inquisition soldiers and surrendered wardens. She didn’t know what would happen, didn’t care.

“Adi… Are you well?” Sebastian put a hand on her shoulder.

She smiled up at him, though she felt the sadness on her own face. “Better.” She checked him over for injuries. “You look ridiculous. That blood will never come out.”

He pressed his forehead to hers. “It will, but I’ll get a new set, if you like. Better ruined armor than you injured.”

They left the keep and made their way back to the Inquisition camp. “You’re going back now?”

“I must. I’m sorry.”

She shook her head. “You have your duties. I’d join you, but-” She squeaked as he pulled her into a tight hug. “But I need to be here in case something happens to Max.”

“I know. I’ll ride north to Val Royeaux, sail to Cumberland and travel down the Minater. I was hoping you would come with me part of the way.”

“I’ll find business to take to the capitol.” She squeezed his arm and took a step back. “I have to clean up and see to my brother. And then I imagine Solas will pull me aside.” 

“Are you in danger from him?”

“No more than before. His secrets are more dangerous than mine and I know both.”

 

\---

 

“Oh the Fade. My  _ favorite _ place.” Adrianna crossed her arms over her chest and turned around until she saw Solas, though it took a few revolutions. “Well,  _ your _ favorite place, at least.”

“You also have the mark. How is that possible?”

“It’s not. As you well know, Dread Wolf.”

Solas showed no surprise, just a thinning of his lips. “You seem to know a great deal.”

“I told you I was stuck in the Fade. I found  _ Vir Dirthara _ .” She waved her hand and a ghostly bookshelf appeared. “But that’s not what you’re asking.”

“No. It is not.” Solas stepped up next to her and made a show of browsing the shelves. “Is this what it looks like, now?”

Adi made a fist and the bookshelf blurred, turning fragmented. “Like that. At least. It does where I’m from.”

Solas turned to her. “Your mark feels the same as your brother’s, but it doesn’t respond to my magic. An alternate timeline?”

“My best guess. I’m no mage.” She shrugged and stepped back. “After I killed Corypheus, I went through a rift and found myself here. Until he dies again, our goals align. And after? I don’t know what your plans are.”

“So, mutual non-interference?” Solas offered.

“I’d be a fool to not agree.” She held out her hand. “I learned enough in the Fade to know better.”

Solas took it. “Do you have any knowledge we could use against Corypheus?”

“Nothing you don’t already know. I never heard the name Calpernia before. I don’t know what she is capable of. The mines of Sahrnia have been converted to the production of red lyrium. Samson is based out of the Shrine of Dumat… And Corypheus will go to the Temple of Mythal in the Arbor Wilds.” She visualized a map and it appeared before her, the areas she mentioned highlighted.

“I’ll see what I can do to tip off Lelianna… And assure everyone that you were simply able to help Maxwell activate the anchor while unconscious. Seeker abilities or blood relation.”

“If you’re vague enough and use the word Fade a few times, they’ll believe anything.”

“Are you joking with me?”  
  
“I’ll let you know when I decide.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She is now slightly less riddled with PTSD.


	6. As the Cards Fell

The early morning sunlight shone through the windows and lit the room. Without getting up, Adi watched Sebastian pick through their clothes and armor where they laid from the night before. 

Sebastian straightened and held out a scrap of paper. “What are you keeping tally of?”

Adi sat up, unconcerned as the blanket fell away. “You don’t  _ really _ want to know. You’ll just be embarrassed and dwell on it the entire trip back home.”

Whatever his original task was, it was forgotten as he sat back on the bed next to her, counting the tallies. “Thirty-four. I’m afraid you’ve just made me more curious.”

She took the scrap and folded it up. “There are things I think you’ve gotten into a habit of saying without really thinking about them.”

“Even if you don’t tell me, I’m sure Hawke or Varric will.”

“Thirty-four times, whilst standing just next to me, you have said, in complete seriousness,” she paused for effect and then faked a Starkhaven accent for the last, “I’m the last of my line.”

“What’s wrong with-  _ Oh _ .” His face turned bright red with a blush and put one hand over it. “You’re right. That is just a habit. I’m glad I didn’t ask before now.”

“It is a rather suggestive thing to say.” She picked up his hand and looked at the callouses, positioned so differently from her own.

“I’m not trying to pressure you. I suppose, a part of me needs to remember why I’m doing this.” He laced his fingers through hers and squeezed.

“You’re doing it because it’s the right thing for your -our- people.”

“Empress Celene remaining on the throne is proof enough that I can do the Maker’s will as a Prince.” He brushed some of her hair back from her face. “Is there anything you want waiting for you at Starkhaven?”

Adrianna put her hands on his cheeks and press a chaste kiss on his lips. “Nothing that won’t already be there.”

 

\---

 

A biting wind whipped across the battlements. Adrianna stood opposite her brother, anger in every line of her body. “Why didn’t you bring him back? He’s a part of your inner circle!”

“Thom Rainier was  _ never _ a part of it. He’s a liar, murderer and traitor,” Max yelled back, his anchor spitting out green sparks with his agitation. “He betrayed his command. He murdered  _ children. _ I saved him from the noose so that he could atone for what he did, not so that he can have a free shot at a fake life.”

“The Inquisition needs Warden Constable Blackwall. With Stroud in Weisshaupt, the Wardens  _ you _ brought here need guidance.” She jabbed her finger at him.

“Who are you to say what the Inquisition ‘needs,’ Little Sister? Go home to Starkhaven where you belong. I know you’re responsible for Sera’s little stunt at the Winter Palace. Do you have any idea what you cost the Inquisition?” He paced back and forth, gesturing widely. “We needed the Chevaliers.”

“And you have them, with the added benefit that they’re no longer bound to a ruler who would invade Ferelden the moment Corypheus is dead!” A raven flew between them on its way to the rookery. “Gaspard would have used the Inquisition as a cover to create a staging ground for his war.”

“You don’t know that! I’m making my decisions based on the input of my advisors. You’ve been arrogant and holier than thou ever since you joined the Seekers.” He stopped and grabbed her shoulders. “You’re undermining my position here, Adi.”

With a clang of metal on metal, Adrianna knocked his arms off of her. “Is that my brother speaking? Or the Inquisition’s advisors. You’re the heir. You’re the Inquisitor. There’s no reason for these insecurities.”

Max turned his back on her. When he spoke, his voice was tight with emotion. “I thought I was the chosen of Andraste. That She led me out of the destruction of the Conclave.” He clutched the battlement. “But I wasn’t. It was chance. If anyone else had opened the door, found the ritual… Adi, what if it wasn’t supposed to be me?”

“I know that I stopped… Showing it openly, once I passed the initiation of the Seekers. After the vigil I thought- Well, none of that matters now. Have faith in the Maker, Max. Have faith in our path. I stayed here to walk this road with you.” She stood next to him and pulled out a handful of her pebbles. “It would be easy to run away. To hide from what I saw at Caer Oswin and the horrors Corypheus has created.”

Max picked out a tiny red rock. “You still carry these?”

“Of course. I give them away and then collect more. Such little things, but we need reminders that the Maker’s beauty is available to each of us, no matter how small a piece of it we see in our lives.” She spilled the rest over the side of the keep. “And we need to accept that it is our own personal duty to find that beauty and keep it in our lives. Do you really want me to leave?”

“No. The end of this is near, for good or ill. There’s no one else I’d rather have fighting by my side.”

Adi grinned. “Not even Cassandra?”

“Adi!”

“You married  _ me _ off.” She punched his shoulder. “It’s only fair.”

Blushing, Max pushed her away. “It’s not- She’s a candidate to be the next Divine! I can’t ask her to put that aside for me.”

Adi faltered. “Is she? Cassandra would be…” She grabbed his arm, clutching it to her chest as she did as a little girl in Ostwick. “For Thedas, for the Maker, I hope the clerics choose her. But for you… I hope they don’t.”

“Thank you. I’ve tried not to think about it. I don’t want to borrow tomorrow’s problems and it’s selfish to think of my own happiness when Corypheus still threatens everything.”

“You’ll defeat him, Max. With the Inquisition at your side and the Maker guiding your way. And I’ll have your back, until this is over.”

 

\---

 

“Are you going to be mad at me the entire time we’re in the Temple?” Hawke asked, poking her in the cheek.

“You used  _ blood magic _ on me! While we were still in sight of Adamant! What were you thinking? Even if I would have agreed to the use of blood magic, you did it right on top of the Nightmare demon! You could have gotten us all killed and what’s more, you used it on  _ me _ when it was my brother who was dying. Are you mad?”

“You were more than half crazy. I needed to remove the Fade corruption, unless you wanted to give your brother a second sister to mourn.”

“Enough!” Cassandra said, physically separating them. “Do you want to draw the attention of Corypheus’s forces? You’re putting us all in danger with your squabbling.”

Adrianna snapped her jaw shut and kept it that way, even as they entered the temple. She didn’t remember much of her first trip. She’d been lost in her own head, body moving on its own. Eventually they stopped.

Solas and Morrigan bickered about the temple, about the petitioners path. She fought the urge to cover her ears.

“I can’t perform a ceremony to honor someone other than the Maker,” said Max.

“Before we start bickering again, I’ll just solve the problem with my glorious intellect.” Dorian brushed past them without waiting for a response. “I was never much for the Chant, anyway.”

Adi bit her tongue when Abelas appeared. All she could think of was that this was a waste of time.  _ The Well doesn’t matter. The Eluvian doesn’t matter. Just kill his people and be done with this. _

“Are you well, Adi?”

“Wha? Yes, Cassandra. I’m fine. Just this… Elven nonsense. Corypheus is  _ here _ , we should just-”

“We may need this Well of Sorrows.”

“Max is going on without us,” Adi said, hastening to catch up with her brother. 

He stood before a blonde woman, a stranger.  _ Calpernia? _ Adi shook her head and focused on what they were saying.

“...Corypheus will wield it, as a master.”

Adi blinked.  _ But wasn’t it Samson who would be the vessel? Surely, a mage is a better choice, but- _

“Corypheus plans to bind you to his will,” Max said, interrupting her thoughts.

Dorian strutted forward. “Surely you’ve spent enough time around Magisters to know it’s  _ never _ sunshine and gumdrops once they get a new toy."

The woman was visibly shaken and took her time answering. Time that Max didn’t give her. He threw a wound scroll of parchment at her and then shoved his way past. “That’s the ritual he used to bind your old master. A practice one for you. Either I end your life, or Corypheus ends your freedom.”

Despite Max’s confident stride, Adrianna held back, holding her axe at the ready as she watched the mage woman’s reaction to the scroll. 

“This can’t be…”

“This is the Maker giving you a choice,” Adi said, approaching. “Return to Tevinter and make right what you’ve done. The Maker may yet take you to His side when your death comes.”

“I’ll see Tevinter reborn. Take the Well. Humble him.”

She waited until the last Venatori was out of sight before racing up the stairs to meet her brother at the Well. Every eye turned to her and she returned her axe to her back. “What is it?”

Max turned away from her, leaning over the Well, as if it called to him. Maybe it did. “We could use this to take down Corypheus. We don’t have the forces to remain here and guard it. We have to…”

“Corypheus will reach us at any moment, Max. Don’t look to me for guidance. Only the Maker can help you in this.” Adi felt Solas’s disapproving gaze, but she didn’t turn to him, didn’t show that she felt it.

Emotions warred across her brother’s face, but when the crashing sound came from the temple, the wail of Corypheus’s madness, his face stilled, hardened. He turned to Morrigan. “Drink.”

 

\---

 

Chunks of stone and earth fell around them as Corypheus’s magic dissipated. The darkspawn himself remained floating in the air for a moment, even with Max’s rift splitting the center of his chest.

Adi staggered forward, drawn to the rift against her will. She planted her feet, tried to dig in, but the rift held tight onto her anchor and dragged her in as if she were some kind of leashed animal. “Max! Help!” Her anchor flared, the green light blinding as it approached the rift.

Time froze and she felt like a spirit possessing her own body. She saw her brother’s left hand raised, anchor activated to seal the rift, but nothing moved, the debris hung static in the air and even the sounds silenced.

_ Not like this. Not now. Maker, please. _ She recited the Chant in her mind and tried to squeeze her eyes shut against the frozen image, but she, too, was frozen.  _ Is this my punishment for running? _

Time went from frozen to sped up a hundred times and she blinked to find herself on her back, the air knocked out of her lungs. To the side, she heard Cole’s voice. “ _ They’re all real. Like her, like him. You forgot what that means _ .”

Before she can mull the words over or even register what she’s seeing, Max is there, pulling her off the dirt and clutching her to his chest. “Adi, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I don’t know why it did that. I’m so glad you’re okay. I almost lost you.”  
  
Slowly, she blinked up at him. Though every muscle burned, she painstakingly lifted her left hand. Her gauntlet was ruined, torn open from the inside. The image of her breastplate destroyed in the same fashion flashed before her eyes, but only for a second. When it cleared, she could see only one thing. The smooth, unmarred,  _ unmarked _ flesh of her left palm. She gasped, but it turned into a sob. She held onto her brother in return. “It’s over.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end :D
> 
> It was a little strange having an _in the know_ character who didn't know all of the Trespasser revelations. Adi is all aboard train Elf Rebellion, but is less fixed on the whole burn-the-world bit.
> 
> I originally planned to have the magic from Adi's anchor - now cut off from its associated Solas and with a lot of misc magic collected from her time in the Fade - coalesce into her becoming a mage and somewhat 'immortal' in the sense of the ancient elves. She was by that point more of a creature of both the living world and the Fade than just the mortal world.
> 
> But then I settled on her brother being the second Inquisitor and felt that was one AU too far.
> 
> Coming soon:  
> "We've got a giant hole in the sky, everyone from the Conclave is dead except for the Herald of Andraste and you want to hear about Squiggles? Have you lost your mind, Seeker? Wasn't Hawke enough?"
> 
> Where Squiggles is definitely not from Earth, but that doesn't mean she's from Thedas.
> 
> (Feel free to message me. I'm so bored.)

**Author's Note:**

> My husband and I have spent way too long debating what the "World State," so to speak, this AU spawns from. There were just too many good possibilities. We eventually decided [spoiler, spoiler, spoiler].


End file.
